This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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