fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
