We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
