And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
