I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
