Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
