you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
