she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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