I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
