When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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