ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
