That's intense
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
