Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
