I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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