Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize