I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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