Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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