Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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