i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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