I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize