How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
