Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
