He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
