Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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