You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
