DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
