out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
