If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
