Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
bring money and cleavage
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
