Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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