yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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