I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize