ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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