I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
