Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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