every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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