Can Purell be used as lube?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
