Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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