Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
