when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
