Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize