I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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