THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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