You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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