I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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