Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
