Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
send nudes
from the living room?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
