From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We are two peas in an std pod
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
