Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize