Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
