i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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