what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
