I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
