doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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