Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
worst night to have a conscience
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
