Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
