I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize