a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Let's paint friendship bongs
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
