he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize