wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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