For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
