I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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