Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
