And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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