Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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