i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my being single is dangerous.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
