you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize