Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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