All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
