Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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