I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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