If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
