Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
