spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
