There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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