Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize